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Why does the groom say vows first?

When it comes to wedding ceremonies, there are many established traditions and rituals that are still followed today. One of the most central moments of any wedding ceremony are the vows, where the bride and groom promise to love, honor, and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. However, you may have noticed that in traditional ceremonies, the groom typically says his vows first, followed by the bride.

But why is this the case? What is the origin of this tradition, and why does it persist to this day? In this blog post, we’ll explore the history behind this custom and try to shed some light on why the groom typically goes first.

A brief history of wedding vows

Wedding vows have been a part of the institution of marriage for centuries. While their specific language and content have varied over time and across different cultures, the basic idea of making a solemn promise to one’s spouse has been a constant throughout human history.

In Western cultures, the practice of exchanging vows during a wedding ceremony can be traced back to the Christian Church. The Book of Common Prayer, written in 1549, included a set of standard wedding vows that soon became the norm for most Christian weddings. These vows included the famous lines, “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

Over time, these vows were adapted and modified by different denominations and individual couples. Today, many people opt to write their own vows, which can include personal anecdotes, inside jokes, and other touches that reflect their unique relationship.

The tradition of the groom saying vows first

While there is no definitive answer as to why the groom typically says his vows first, there are a few theories that have been put forward over the years. One of the most commonly cited explanations is that it is simply a matter of tradition and convention. In other words, it’s just the way things are done, and people don’t question it much.

However, some historians and wedding experts have delved a bit deeper and suggested some other reasons why this custom might exist. One theory is that, in the past, weddings were often more of a business transaction than a romantic celebration. It was the groom who was seen as the primary stakeholder in this exchange, as he would be providing a dowry or paying a bride price to the bride’s family. As such, it made sense for him to go first and make his promises to his future bride.

Another theory is that the tradition of the groom going first is rooted in the idea of protection and chivalry. By speaking his vows first, the groom was demonstrating his commitment to protecting and providing for his wife. This idea of the man as protector and provider has been a central feature of patriarchal societies throughout history, and it is possible that this tradition emerged as a way of reinforcing the gender roles of the time.

Do the rules still apply?

Of course, in modern times, the dynamics of weddings and relationships have shifted considerably from what they were in the past. Women are no longer viewed primarily as property or in need of men’s protection, and marriages are generally seen as partnerships of equals. As such, some people have started to question whether the tradition of the groom saying his vows first is still relevant.

The good news is that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to weddings. Ultimately, the order in which vows are exchanged is up to the couple getting married and their officiant. Some people still prefer to stick with tradition and have the groom go first, while others opt for a more egalitarian approach and have both partners say their vows at the same time.


In the end, the tradition of the groom saying vows first is one of many customs that has survived throughout the centuries of marriage and weddings. While the origins of the practice are shrouded in some mystery, it remains a common part of ceremonies today, even as gender roles and societal norms have evolved. Ultimately, the order in which vows are exchanged is a personal choice that should reflect the values and preferences of the couple getting married.


What order do wedding vows go in?

The order of wedding vows can vary depending on cultural and religious traditions. However, in a typical Western wedding ceremony, there is usually a welcome or introduction by the minister, followed by the exchange of vows. The vows may be personalized to reflect the couple’s beliefs and values, but they generally include promises to love, honor, and cherish each other.

After the couple exchanges vows, they may also choose to exchange rings as a symbol of their commitment. The ring exchange often includes a short statement or blessing from the minister, such as “These rings symbolize the bond that you have just made as husband and wife.” The couple may then place the rings on each other’s fingers.

Once the ring exchange is complete, the couple traditionally shares a kiss to seal their marriage. The minister may then make a pronouncement, such as “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” or “You may now kiss the bride.” The couple is then announced for the first time as a married couple, and they typically exit the ceremony space together, followed by their wedding party.

The order of wedding vows follows a fairly standard format in Western weddings. However, couples may choose to add their own twists or variations to make the ceremony more personalized and meaningful to them.

How do wedding vows usually start?

Wedding vows are a special and essential part of any wedding ceremony. They are the promises made by the bride and groom to each other, and they often set the tone for the entire wedding. When it comes to writing wedding vows, most people start by expressing their love, appreciation, and gratitude to their partner. The beginning of the wedding vows usually represents the couple’s love story, how they met, and their journey leading up to the wedding day.

The most common way wedding vows start is by saying something along the lines of “You are the love of my life, and I am proud to marry you.” This is an excellent way to start, as it acknowledges the deep love and commitment the couple shares for each other. Another way wedding vows usually start is by expressing appreciation to their partner. The bride and groom may thank each other for their love, support, and patience throughout their relationship, and how much they value all the little things that make them special.

To continue, wedding vows usually start with promises, which is the most critical part of the wedding vows. This is where the couple expresses their commitment to each other and vows to be there for each other through thick and thin. Common promises usually include supporting each other’s dreams, being each other’s best friend and confidant, and always treating each other with love and respect.

Wedding vows can differ from one couple to another, but they all share a similar starting point. Most wedding vows start by expressing love, appreciation, and gratitude. They then continue with the couple making promises to each other, which ultimately represents their love, commitment, and willingness to spend the rest of their lives together.

Do vows start with bride or groom?

Wedding vows are a significant aspect of a wedding ceremony, as they symbolize a couple’s commitment and love for each other. The exchange of wedding vows is one of the most anticipated and memorable moments of a wedding ceremony. The order of wedding vows can sometimes be confusing or forgotten altogether, leading to some uncertainty surrounding who should go first. However, tradition dictates that the groom usually starts the vow exchange.

In most cultures, it is customary for the groom to say his wedding vows first. The officiant will hand him the floor to express his commitment and love to his bride before giving the bride her turn. The tradition of having the groom start the vow exchange is believed to have stemmed from the concept that the bride is the center of attention throughout the ceremony and that the groom is taking a back seat to his bride. Therefore, this is one moment where the groom is allowed to take center stage and show his love and commitment to his partner.

That being said, there are no hard and fast rules regarding who starts the vow exchange. Some couples choose to switch up the order of vows by having the bride say hers first, and that’s entirely up to them. Some couples even opt to recite their vows simultaneously, or they may choose to have their wedding officiant read the vows for them.

the order of vows doesn’t affect the meaning or importance of the exchange. What is crucial is that both parties feel comfortable and able to express their love and commitment in their unique way. Whether it is the groom or bride who starts the exchange of vows, the focus should be on both of them equally, and the exchange should be filled with love, sincerity, and meaning.

The groom typically starts the wedding vow exchange, but there are no strict rules regarding who should go first. The most important thing is that both parties feel comfortable and can express their love and commitment to each other genuinely.