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Who usually goes first in wedding vows?

Wedding vows are an integral part of a wedding ceremony. They are promises and commitments that a couple makes to each other on their wedding day. Vows are also an expression of the couple’s love and commitment to each other, and they play a significant role in the ceremony. However, one question that arises often is, “Who should go first in wedding vows?”.

Traditional Order of Vows

The traditional order of vows is known as the patriarchal order. In this order, the groom says his wedding vows first, followed by the bride. This has been the traditional and most common way of performing wedding ceremonies for many decades.

The traditional order of vows has its roots in the Christian faith and has been followed by many church denominations all over the world. It originated from the belief that the man is the head of the home and, therefore, should lead in all aspects, including the wedding vows.

However, the traditional order of vows has been the subject of much debate. Many people now look at marriage as a partnership between equals. Therefore, the bride and groom should both have an equal voice in the wedding ceremony, including when it comes to exchanging vows.

Why the Groom Usually Goes First in Wedding Vows?

The groom usually goes first in wedding vows as the tradition has it. However, some reasons and beliefs suggest why the husband should go first in the exchange of wedding vows.

Religious Beliefs

For many religions, marriage is a reflection of the relationship between God and His people. A man is generally considered to be the spiritual head of the home, which necessitates that he leads in religious matters. Therefore, the groom should go first in sharing his vows since he would lead the couple in spiritual matters.


The exchange of wedding vows is a symbolic act that represents the couple’s union. The husband is supposed to be the head of the family and should, therefore, take the lead in the union. The exchange of vows symbolizes the groom’s commitment and protection of his wife and his responsibility to lead in the family relationship.


Another reason why the groom goes first in wedding vows is that it is a cultural custom. Many cultural practices dictate that the man should lead in every aspect of the marriage, including the exchange of wedding vows. This custom is prevalent in some cultures and religions worldwide.

Should Brides Go First in Wedding Vows?

While the traditional order of exchanging wedding vows has been going on for ages, this doesn’t mean that the bride cannot go first. In fact, the idea of allowing brides to go first is becoming more common in modern-day weddings.

There are several reasons why some couples opt to have the bride go first in the exchange of wedding vows. One of the most significant reasons is that it sets the tone for a more egalitarian relationship. Allowing the bride to speak first during the exchange of vows feels right for most couples because of equality in marriage. It suggests that both parties are equally committed to the marriage and have an equal say in the union.

Additionally, some couples choose to have the bride go first in wedding vows because of personal belief. Some brides may want to honor grandparents or relatives who got married in a matriarchal culture, so they choose to have the bride go first in their weddings.

In Conclusion

Who goes first in wedding vows has been debated for a long time. While the groom usually goes first in a traditional wedding setting, couples can choose to break from tradition and allow the bride to go first. The couple can choose which order to follow during the exchange of wedding vows based on their personal beliefs and customs. What’s most important is that the couple feels comfortable, happy, and equally represented in the exchange of their vows.


What order do wedding vows go in?

When it comes to wedding ceremonies, there are different types of vows that can be exchanged between the bride and groom. While the format and wording can vary based on cultural traditions, personal preferences, and religious practices, there is a general order that is typically followed.

The ceremony usually starts with a welcome or opening remarks by the officiant, who sets the tone for the event and acknowledges the couple and their families. This can include a brief history of the couple’s relationship, insights into their personalities, or a mention of any special elements that will be included in the ceremony.

After the introduction, the couple typically exchanges vows, with the groom stating his first and then the bride responding with hers. The vows are a chance for the couple to express their love, commitment, and promises to one another. They can be traditional, custom-written, or a mix of both, and can include personal anecdotes, quotes, or references to their shared values or beliefs.

Some couples choose to repeat after the officiant, while others memorize and recite their vows to each other. There are also options for couples who wish to write their own vows but might need guidance on how to structure them or what to include.

Once the vows are exchanged, the couple often proceeds to exchange rings as a symbol of their commitment and love. The rings are a physical representation of the vows they just made, and they are usually placed on the ring finger of the left hand. This is followed by a kiss, which signifies the sealing of the marriage bond.

Finally, the officiant officially introduces the couple for the first time as newlyweds and invites them to walk down the aisle or recess out of the ceremony area. The order of events may vary slightly based on the couple’s preferences or religious customs, but the exchange of vows, rings, and the kiss are typically the central elements of the wedding ceremony.

Why does the groom say vows first?

When it comes to a wedding ceremony, one of the most important and symbolic parts is the exchange of vows between the bride and groom. While both parties are expected to recite their vows before the officiant, it is customary for the groom to say his wedding vows first. This practice is steeped in tradition, and is still upheld in modern times.

One reason for the groom saying his vows first is rooted in the historical role of marriage. In the past, a wedding was often viewed as a transaction between families, wherein the groom was seen as the primary provider and the head of the household. As such, the groom was expected to speak first, outlining how he would care for and protect his bride. It was also believed that the groom’s vows set the tone for the ceremony and the marriage as a whole.

Another reason for the tradition may be based on the structure of the wedding ceremony itself. In most cases, the officiant will give the groom the floor to speak his piece before handing it over to the bride. This is often done as part of the standard order of service, which typically follows a similar format from one wedding to the next.

However, while the groom traditionally says his vows first, it’s important to remember that there are no hard and fast rules. Couples are free to customize their wedding ceremony to meet their own preferences and needs. If the bride prefers to say her vows first, or if they want to say their vows together, for instance, it’s perfectly acceptable to do so.

While it’s traditional for the groom to say his vows first in a wedding ceremony, there is no one “correct” way to exchange vows. it’s up to the couple to decide how they want to structure their ceremony and what works best for them. The most important thing is that they are honest, sincere, and committed to the promises they make to one another.

Who goes first in vows and rings?

The exchange of vows and rings is one of the most memorable moments of a wedding ceremony. As you prepare for your big day, you may be wondering who traditionally goes first when it comes to exchanging vows and rings.

Traditionally, it is the groom who goes first when it comes to exchanging rings. He will receive the bride’s ring from the best man or ring bearer, and he will place the ring on the bride’s finger while repeating the vows. Once the groom has finished, it is the bride’s turn to receive the groom’s ring from the maid of honor or another member of the bridal party and place it on the groom’s finger while reciting the vows.

However, this adheres to traditional gender roles and it is becoming more popular for couples to personalize the wedding ceremony. If you do not feel comfortable with the traditionally assigned order, discuss it with your partner and wedding planner or celebrant and choose the order that suits you both.

There are many factors to consider when planning your wedding ceremony, and the order of the ring exchange and vows is just one of them. It’s important to communicate with your partner and make decisions that reflect your personalities and values. Whether the bride or groom goes first in the ring exchange or vows, what truly matters is the commitment and love you share as a couple.