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Is it rude not to RSVP to a wedding?

When it comes to weddings, there are certain expectations and traditions in place. One of these traditions is the RSVP, or “répondez s’il vous plaît” in French, which translates to “please respond.” This request is included on wedding invitations to ask guests to confirm whether or not they will attend the wedding. But what happens if someone doesn’t RSVP? Is it considered rude? In this blog post, we’ll explore the etiquette around RSVPs and determine whether or not not RSVPing is indeed rude.

The Purpose of RSVPs

The purpose of RSVPs is twofold. First, they allow the couple to accurately plan for their wedding day. This means knowing how many guests will attend, how much food and drink needs to be ordered, and how many tables and chairs to rent. Second, they allow the couple to control costs. Weddings can be extremely expensive, and an accurate head count helps the couple to budget and avoid overspending.

The Etiquette of RSVPs

The etiquette around RSVPs is straightforward. When you receive an invitation that includes an RSVP, you are expected to respond. Typically, the RSVP deadline is 2-3 weeks prior to the wedding date. This gives the couple enough time to finalize their guest list, make any necessary adjustments, and provide final numbers to their vendors.

If you are unable to attend the wedding, it is polite to RSVP “regrets only.” This means that you will only respond if you are unable to attend the wedding. If you don’t respond by the deadline, the couple will typically assume that you are attending and prepare accordingly.

Why Not RSVPing is Rude

Not RSVPing is considered rude for a number of reasons. First, it’s simply bad manners. The couple has taken the time and effort to invite you to their wedding, and they deserve the courtesy of a response. Second, not RSVPing can cause unnecessary stress for the couple. When they don’t receive a response from you, they may have to follow up with a phone call or email to confirm your attendance. This takes time and can be a source of stress for the couple as they try to finalize their plans.

Third, not RSVPing can cause the couple to overspend. If they assume that you are attending and prepare accordingly, they may end up with too much food, drink, or seating. This can be a waste of resources and money for the couple. Fourth, not RSVPing can be disrespectful to the couple and their families. They have likely spent a great deal of time and money planning their wedding, and they want everyone to share in their joy. Not responding to an invitation can feel like a snub, especially if you are close to the couple.

Exceptions to the Rule

There are certainly exceptions to the rule when it comes to RSVPs. For example, if you receive an invitation to a wedding that you know you won’t be attending, you don’t necessarily need to RSVP. However, it’s still polite to send a message or card congratulating the couple and expressing your regrets.

If you receive an invitation and are uncertain about whether or not you can attend, it’s best to RSVP “maybe” or “tentative.” This gives the couple an idea of how many guests they can expect, and also lets them know that you are still considering attending.

Finally, if you RSVP “yes” and something unexpected comes up that prevents you from attending, it’s important to let the couple know as soon as possible. This allows them to adjust their plans and avoid unnecessary expenses.


In conclusion, not RSVPing to a wedding invitation is considered rude. It’s important to respond to wedding invitations by the deadline, and to do so politely and considerately. RSVPs allow the couple to plan and budget accordingly, and failing to respond can cause unnecessary stress and expense. So, if you receive a wedding invitation that includes an RSVP, take a moment to respond and let the couple know whether or not you’ll be attending. It’s the polite and considerate thing to do.


Is it OK not to respond to RSVP?

When receiving an invitation that includes a request to RSVP, it is important to understand the significance of this request. RSVP stands for répondez s’il vous plaît, which is French for “please respond.” Essentially, it is a polite way for the host or organizer to ask whether or not you are planning to attend their event.

In most cases, it is considered common courtesy to respond to an RSVP request, regardless of whether or not you plan to attend. This helps the host or organizer to plan accordingly, whether it means ordering the appropriate amount of food or drinks, arranging seating, or ensuring that they have enough space for all guests.

However, there are some exceptions to this rule. For instance, some hosts or organizers may request that you only respond if you are unable to attend. This is often referred to as “regrets only,” meaning that the host assumes you will be attending unless you tell them otherwise. In this case, failing to respond is acceptable since it is assumed that you will be attending.

It is worth noting that failing to respond to an RSVP request can be seen as rude or inconsiderate. The host or organizer may need to follow up with you, which can be cumbersome or time-consuming for them. Additionally, it may cause unnecessary confusion or frustration if they are unclear as to who will be attending their event.

If you receive an invitation that includes an RSVP request, it is best practice to respond in a timely manner. If you are unable to attend, simply let the host or organizer know as soon as possible. If you are able to attend, provide any necessary details, such as whether or not you plan to bring a plus one. By doing so, you can help ensure that the event runs smoothly and that the host or organizer can plan accordingly.

Why do people ignore RSVP?

RSVP is a French term that stands for “Répondez s’il vous plaît,” translated as “Please respond.” As the name suggests, it is an invitation response, which recipients are expected to complete within a specified period. RSVP’s purpose is to allow the host to get a headcount of the guests expected to attend the event. However, more often than not, people overlook RSVPs, leading to conflicting guest numbers and catering arrangements. Hence, the question remains: why do people ignore RSVPs?

One reason people ignore RSVPs is the modern culture of procrastination. With the emergence of smartphones, social media, and instant messaging apps, people have become accustomed to putting off tasks until the last minute. Consequently, they forget, ignore, or miss the RSVP deadline. Some may also feel that they do not have enough information about the event to make a decision or put it off until they are sure they can attend the event.

Another reason people ignore RSVPs is poor planning. People who schedule events must consider several factors, including timing, location, and guest list, among other things. If one hasn’t made the necessary arrangements, such as sending reminders or providing essential details about the event, guests may overlook or forget to RSVP. Therefore, clear and concise invitations with all crucial information are more likely to receive responses.

Furthermore, in some instances, guests may be unsure whether they want to attend the event. They may have issues with the day, time, location, or even the event’s theme. Such people may, wrongly, believe that not RSVPing is a polite way of declining the invitation. Gilbertson, a clinical psychologist, suggests that some people may also be trying to avoid conflict by failing to RSVP because, for them, it’s easier to ignore an invite than to actively decline it. “It’s a misguided attempt to protect the person from hearing the word ‘no,'” Gilbertson says.

To sum up, people ignore RSVPs for various reasons, from procrastination and poor planning to uncertainty or fear of conflict. Event organizers and hosts should take proactive steps to ensure invitations and RSVP requests are clear and concise, providing enough details about the event. Guests should also learn practice proper etiquette and respond promptly to invitations that they receive, making it easier for the organizers to plan and execute successful events.

How many people say no to wedding RSVP?

When planning a wedding, one of the most crucial aspects is finalizing the guest list. Part of this process includes sending out invitations and requesting that guests RSVP by a specific date. While the majority of guests typically respond with a “yes” RSVP, it is not uncommon for some to respond with a “no.”

Studies have shown that, on average, between 15 and 20 percent of guests will RSVP “no” to a wedding. This number may fluctuate depending on various factors, such as the location and time of year of the wedding, as well as the relationship between the couple and their guests.

For example, if the wedding is taking place in a remote location or during a holiday weekend, some guests may be less likely to attend and thus more likely to respond with a “no” RSVP. Additionally, if a couple is inviting many distant relatives or acquaintances, they may receive more “no” responses than if they were only inviting close friends and immediate family members.

It’s important to keep in mind that while receiving “no” responses may feel disappointing, it’s a natural part of the RSVP process and does not necessarily indicate that the guests do not want to attend or support the couple’s wedding. Many factors can influence a guest’s decision to attend, such as scheduling conflicts, financial difficulties, or unforeseen circumstances.

The number of guests who RSVP “no” to a wedding can vary based on a multitude of factors. However, with proper planning and communication, couples can ensure that their wedding remains a joyous and memorable occasion, regardless of the number of attendees.