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How do you subtly ask a guy what we are?

When you start dating someone and things seem to be going well, it’s only natural to want to know where things will go. The question of “what are we?” can be tricky to navigate, especially if you don’t want to come across as needy or pushy. However, if you’re feeling unsure and want to clarify your relationship status, it’s important to communicate your feelings and needs. In this blog post, we’ll discuss some ways you can subtly ask a guy what the two of you are without putting too much pressure on him.

Why Communication is Key

Communication is essential in any relationship. One of the most common reasons why relationships fail is a lack of communication. If you’re feeling unsure about where things stand, it’s important to take the time to talk to him and make sure you’re on the same page. While it can be nerve-wracking to initiate this conversation, you’ll be glad you did it in the long run.

How to Subtly Ask a Guy What You Are

1. Ask Him About His Goals and Plans

One way to get a sense of where he sees things going is to ask him about his goals and plans for the future. For example, you could ask him about his career aspirations, where he wants to live in the next few years, or if he sees himself settling down at some point. This can help you get a sense of how he feels about commitment and whether he’s open to the idea of a serious relationship.

2. Bring Up Relationship Goals in General

Another way to approach the conversation is to bring up the topic of relationship goals in general. For example, you could say something like, “I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want out of a relationship and what my goals are. What about you? What do you want out of a relationship?” This can open the door to a discussion about what the two of you are looking for and whether you’re both on the same page.

3. Be Clear About Your Expectations

If you’re feeling unsure about where things stand, it’s important to be clear about your own expectations. For example, you could say something like, “I really enjoy spending time with you, but I’m looking for something more serious and committed. What are your thoughts on that?” This can help you gauge where he stands and whether he’s on the same page.

4. Use “We” Language

When you’re having this conversation, it’s important to use “we” language instead of “I” language. This can help convey the message that you’re open to a relationship and interested in exploring where things could go. For example, you could say something like, “I think we have a great connection, and I’m excited to see where this could go. What are your thoughts on that?”

5. Avoid Ultimatums

While it’s important to be clear about your expectations and needs, it’s important to avoid giving ultimatums. For example, saying something like, “If you’re not interested in a serious relationship, then I don’t want to continue seeing you,” can put too much pressure on him and make him feel like he’s being forced into a decision. Instead, focus on having an open and honest conversation and letting things progress naturally.


Asking a guy what you are can be a challenging conversation to have. However, it’s important to communicate your feelings and needs if you want to control the direction of your relationship. Remember to be clear about your expectations, use “we” language, and avoid giving ultimatums. By approaching the conversation in a subtle way, you can clarify your relationship status without putting too much pressure on him, which can lead to a happier and healthier relationship in the long run.


When should you ask a guy what are we?

Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes it’s unclear where you stand with your partner. It’s natural to want clarity on the status of your relationship, especially if you’ve been seeing someone for a while and things are going well. However, it can be difficult to know when it’s the right time to bring up the question, “what are we?”

If you’re not sure whether or not to ask your partner this question, take some time to evaluate the situation. One key factor to consider is the amount of time you’ve been together. If it’s only been a few weeks or even a couple of months, it may be too soon to have this conversation. At this stage, you’re still getting to know each other and it’s important to let the relationship develop naturally.

On the other hand, if you’ve been dating for several months or longer, and you’ve developed strong feelings for each other, it may be appropriate to ask the question. If the two of you spend a lot of time together, but you are starting to wonder if you can reasonably include them in your life down the road, then now would be a good time to have the talk. Bringing up the conversation can help you to gauge your partner’s feelings and intentions, and can give you a better sense of where your relationship is headed.

It’s important to approach this conversation in a calm and non-confrontational way. Choose a time when you’re both relaxed and not distracted by other things. You might start the conversation by saying something like, “I really enjoy spending time with you, and I’m starting to develop stronger feelings for you. I’m just wondering where you see us going in the future.”

It’s also important to be prepared for any response that your partner might give. They may not be ready to commit to a serious relationship yet, or they may have a different understanding of what your relationship means to them. Be honest about your own feelings and expectations, but also respect your partner’s perspective.

The decision to ask your partner “what are we?” is a personal one, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, and to be clear about your own feelings and expectations. By doing this, you’ll be better equipped to understand where you stand with each other, and to make informed decisions about your future together.