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Can you invite people to the bridal shower if they re not invited to wedding?

A bridal shower is one of the most exciting celebrations for any bride-to-be. It is the perfect opportunity to gather with the most important women (and sometimes men) in your life before your big day. But when it comes to the guest list, many people find themselves wondering if it is okay to invite people to a bridal shower who might not be included in the wedding invitation list. The question arises especially when the guest list for a wedding ceremony is small or tight for budget reasons.

As a prospective bride, you may feel obliged to include all your friends and family members in your celebration. But at the same time, you may not want to invite them all to your wedding ceremony for multiple reasons. As tricky as it sounds, the short answer is that it’s not appropriate to invite someone to a bridal shower who doesn’t make it to the final wedding invitation list.

In this blog post, we will get into the nitty-gritty details of why it’s not a good idea and what are alternative ways to handle the situation.

Why Can’t You Invite Everyone to the Bridal Shower?

A bridal shower is an intimate gathering that is typically organized by a close friend or a family member. It is meant to be a pre-wedding celebration of the bride-to-be with her closest friends, family, and loved ones. The purpose of the shower is often to shower the bride-to-be with love, affection, gifts, and well wishes before she embarks on her marital journey.

Unfortunately, if you invite someone to a bridal shower who is not included in the final wedding invitation list, it can lead to feelings of confusion, hurt, and awkwardness. Your potential guest may feel that they are obligated to bring a gift but also confused about why they were invited to the shower in the first place. Additionally, it can cause future awkward interactions and ruin the relationship.

Moreover, it might seem greedy or inconsiderate to the guests who are not invited to the wedding, but have been asked to attend the bridal shower. They might think you’re only seeking gifts without intending to include them in the wedding.

Alternative Ways to Include Friends and Family Who Aren’t Invited to Wedding

If you’re planning a small wedding ceremony, you might struggle to figure out how to include all your loved ones in pre-wedding celebrations.

Here are some ways you can consider inviting people to pre-wedding events without hurting anyone’s feelings or causing awkward situations.

1. Have a Casual Get-Together

You don’t have to have a formal event to celebrate your engagement or impending nuptials. Host a casual get-together at your favorite coffee shop or restaurant. This way, you can spend quality time with friends and family without having the pressure of either inviting them to the wedding or shower.

2. Have a Virtual Bridal Shower

With the COVID-19 pandemic still prevalent worldwide, virtual showers have become popular, safe, and accessible methods of holding a shower. You can include virtually anyone you want without worrying that they’ll be traveling long distances or breaking restrictions. Virtual showers are a great way to celebrate with anyone you care about, without putting them or their families at risk.

3. Have a Jack and Jill Shower

A mixed-gender, jack and jill shower is a popular option for couples who want to celebrate with all their closest family and friends. It can be a fun, casual event that allows everyone to enjoy the celebration together and appreciate the couple’s love. Couples can play games, eat delicious snacks, and appreciate each other without the pressure of a formal event.


In conclusion, your bridal shower should be a celebration of your love and upcoming marriage. However, it is crucial to respect other people’s expectations and feelings when it comes to preparing your guest list. Inviting someone to your shower who will not be invited to your wedding can hurt feelings and relationships. To avoid hurt or uncomfortable situations, you may want to consider a different way of celebrating your engagement that allows you to spend time with everyone important in your life. Remember, a thoughtful gesture is always a substitute for a formal celebration!


What is the average number of guests at a bridal shower?

When it comes to planning a bridal shower, the number of guests to invite can be a tricky topic to navigate. Some brides may envision an intimate gathering with just a few close friends and family, while others may want to invite every woman they’ve ever met. So, what exactly is the average number of guests at a bridal shower?

According to our experience, the average number of guests at a bridal shower is about 25. Of course, this number can vary depending on factors such as the bride’s preferences, budget, and venue size. Generally, a comfortable range for the number of guests at a bridal shower is between 20 and 30.

It’s important to keep in mind that the number of guests will also impact the type of bridal shower experience you can provide. A smaller gathering may allow for a more personalized and intimate event, with activities and games that are tailored to the bride’s interests. Meanwhile, a larger guest list may require more space, food, and entertainment options to keep everyone engaged.

The decision of how many guests to invite to a bridal shower is up to the bride and the host. It’s important to communicate openly about expectations and preferences, and to be respectful of each other’s ideas and limitations. With the right planning and coordination, any size bridal shower can be a memorable celebration of love, friendship, and joy.

What is the difference between a bridal shower and a wedding shower?

A bridal shower is a gift-giving party that is thrown by the bride’s friends and family members to celebrate the bride’s upcoming wedding. Typically, the bridal shower is focused on the bride and her female friends and family members. The purpose of this event is to “shower” the bride with gifts, advice, and good wishes before her big day.

On the other hand, a wedding shower (also known as a couple’s shower) is a party that celebrates the upcoming nuptials of the bride and the groom. Unlike the bridal shower, a wedding shower is not limited to just the bride and her female friends and family members. Instead, it is a co-ed party where both the bride and groom are present and are showered with gifts, advice, and love.

In terms of gift-giving, at a bridal shower, guests typically bring gifts that are specifically for the bride. These gifts may include lingerie, household items, and other gifts that the bride will use after the wedding day. At a wedding shower, guests bring gifts that can be used by both the bride and groom. These gifts may include items like kitchen appliances, home décor, and tools for home improvement.

Furthermore, in terms of activities, a bridal shower may include games or activities that are focused on the bride. For example, guests may play games that quiz them on how well they know the bride or they may write down their best marriage advice for the bride. At a wedding shower, activities may be focused on the couple as a whole. For example, guests may play games where they have to answer questions about the couple or they may participate in activities that help the couple bond and get closer to each other.

The main difference between a bridal shower and a wedding shower is the guest list and the purpose of the event. While a bridal shower is focused on the bride and her female friends and family members, a wedding shower is a co-ed event that celebrates the upcoming marriage of the bride and groom.

Should I go to the bridal shower if I can’t go to the wedding?

Attending a bridal shower is a way to celebrate the bride and her upcoming nuptials. However, life can sometimes get in the way of us attending every event we’re invited to. If you can’t attend the wedding, you may wonder whether it’s appropriate to attend the bridal shower.

In general, bridal showers are usually smaller, more intimate affairs than weddings. They’re typically hosted by the bride’s closest friends or family members and serve as a way to celebrate the bride-to-be without the formalities of a wedding. Because they’re not as formal as weddings, it’s more common for people to attend bridal showers without attending the wedding itself.

That said, if you can only attend one of the two events, it’s generally considered more important to attend the wedding than the bridal shower. After all, the wedding is the actual marriage ceremony, and it’s the main event that the couple has been planning for months. If you’re unable to attend both events, it’s acceptable to attend the wedding and miss the bridal shower.

In the end, whether you attend the bridal shower depends on your relationship with the bride and your availability. It’s important to RSVP promptly and provide a heartfelt explanation if you’re unable to attend. If the bride is someone close to you, consider getting her a thoughtful gift to show her you’re thinking of her, even if you can’t attend the shower.

Remember, etiquette is about making those around you feel comfortable and appreciated. If you’re unable to attend the bridal shower, don’t feel guilty about it. Send your regrets and a kind message to the bride-to-be, and focus instead on celebrating with her on the big day.