You’re Engaged! Now what? You’re Engaged! Now what?
Congratulations! You just got engaged…now what? Getting engaged is one of the most exciting and emotional times of your life. You are probably still... You’re Engaged! Now what?

Congratulations! You just got engaged…now what? Getting engaged is one of the most exciting and emotional times of your life. You are probably still on cloud nine (as you should be) and eager to start planning your wedding.

Before you jump into full planning mode, here are our top five things to consider after getting engaged:

  1. Enjoy your engagement

Apaige Photography

As ready and excited as you are to start planning, just know that this blissful moment will soon pass, and you will quickly transition to full planning mode. So enjoy this time together with your love for as long as you can!

  1. Informing people about the big news

Eric Doolin Photography


There are people in your life, whether it be family or close friends, that do not want to learn of your engagement via social media. They want to hear it from you! Make a list of the people you know would appreciate a phone call or video chat to learn of your exciting news. Your list may be short, or it may be long. There is no specific number you should be going for. You and your fiance (!) will know who those people are in your life and what feels right. Once you have contacted those people on your list, pick that perfect photo and post away! Relish in the likes and comments that come flooding in, and be sure to thank your well-wishers by commenting back.

Fair warning… you will 100% have at least one person ask when the wedding day is. When this happens, go back to the first point of “enjoy your engagement.” A simple response like “Thank you so much for your sweet comment. We are so excited about this new chapter and plan to enjoy our engagement for a bit. Once we have a wedding date, we will be sure to share with everyone.”

  1. Engagement party

Jenina Simplicio Photography

One of the first things you will learn about being an engaged LGBTQ+ couple is that the rules and traditions typically found in weddings do not always apply to us. And that can be a really cool thing! When it comes to an engagement party, a close family member or friend will typically throw this for the newly engaged couple. But why can’t you throw your own engagement party?! You are excited to share this new chapter with your friends and family. Invite them over for a BBQ, a wine and charcuterie night, a gathering at your favorite brewery, or whatever feels right to you. Regardless, you do not have to wait for someone to throw you an engagement party. Celebrate how you want with who you want!

  1. Start casually browsing social media and sources like Gay Weddings and Marriage Magazine ( and @gayweddingsmag on Instagram)

Todd Danforth Photography

Get started on Instagram and look for ideas and designs you like. Take note of wedding pros in your area who you might want to work with. As you look through countless profiles, note which wedding pros feature LGBTQ+ couples on their main feed.

  • Does this vendor show any LGBTQ+ couples?
  • How far did I have to scroll to find an LGBTQ+ couple?
  • How often do they feature an LGBTQ+ couple?

All of these can be tell-tale signs of whether a vendor has experience catering to the LGBTQ+ community and whether they are accepting or affirming.

Definitions according to Merriam-Webster dictionary:

  • Accepting – able or willing to accept something or someone: inclined to regard something or someone with acceptance rather than with hostility or fear
  • Affirming – to assert something (or someone) as valid or confirmed
  1. Decide if you want to hire a professional wedding planner or if you want to plan your wedding together as a couple

Apaige Photography

At the end of the day, a wedding will cost you some money. How much money you and your fiance are willing to spend is entirely up to you. Hiring a wedding planner will take a lot of the stress off of you but can set you back a few thousand dollars, depending on the quality of the planner. A wedding planner will handle things such as overall design, contacting vendors, organizing contracts, and planning your wedding from start to finish.

Planning your own wedding can save you a lot of money but will cost you a lot of time. When you plan your own wedding, there is always the option of hiring a wedding coordinator who will usually jump in a month or two before your wedding day and coordinate everything on the wedding day itself, leaving you to enjoy yourself. But, you are planning the wedding from start to finish.


Now that you are engaged, you will have a lot of big decisions to make for your wedding day. Just remember to slow down, enjoy your engagement, and know that at the end of the day, your wedding is going to be spectacular. So let me be the first to say CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement and happy planning! Cheers!

By Frank Burgess, @lgbtweddingsoc on Instagram

(Title photo by Todd Danforth Photography)

Photography provided by featured photographers on @lgbtweddingsoc on Instagram and Facebook.

Apaige Photography @apaigephotography

Eric Doolin Photography @ericdoolin

Jenina Simplicio Photography @jeninasimpliciophoto

Todd Danforth Photography @​​toddthephotographer