Marriages are a wonderful union of two individuals who wish to spend their lives together, building a partnership based on love, trust, and mutual respect. However, sometimes the path to a happy and successful marriage is not all roses and sunshine. There are bound to be challenges and obstacles that a couple will face as they navigate through life together. One of the most talked-about questions when it comes to marriage is ‘what is the most difficult stage of marriage?’.
While there are different perspectives and opinions surrounding this question, a general consensus among many relationship experts is that the early years of marriage pose the biggest challenge to the couple. Marriage is an adjustment, and no matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, there are going to be changes taking place when you exchange vows. However, the first year after tying the knot is often considered to be the most challenging.
The First Year
According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you’ve already lived together. In fact, it often doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky. The first year of marriage is a period of transition, and you and your partner will have to navigate through several changes. From combining finances to shifting household duties, this period can result in stress, arguments, and misunderstandings.
One of the biggest issues during the first year of marriage is learning how to adjust to your new roles as a married couple. Before getting married, you and your partner were most likely in a dating or cohabitating arrangement, which is different from being a legally bound married couple. Marriage brings with it specific obligations, expectations, and societal norms that can be difficult to balance. Learning how to coexist as married individuals can be challenging, and it often requires good communication, patience, and a willingness to compromise.
The Power Struggle
Within the first year of marriage, another challenge that couples face is the power struggle. This is where you and your partner negotiate for power, control and influence within the relationship. It’s a natural part of the development of any relationship, and it can occur more frequently during the early years of marriage.
During the power struggle, there is a conflict between autonomy and connection. Each partner wants their independence and privacy, but not at the cost of their relationship. Each partner also wants to influence their partner to conform to their ideals, desires, and goals.
This can lead to arguments, fights, and frustration which can harm your relationship. However, once both partners learn to be more understanding and accepting of each other, they can develop strategies to overcome this power struggle and build a more harmonious relationship.
Communication and Expectations
Effective communication is critical to the success of any relationship, particularly during the first year of marriage. As you adjust to your roles as a married couple, you must learn to communicate more effectively with one another. You can do this by being honest and open, without pointing fingers or placing any blame. It’s also important to listen attentively, show respect, and be sensitive to each other’s feelings.
Along with communication, managing expectations is important. Marriage often comes with high expectations of what married life should look like. If the couple has unrealistic expectations, it can lead to disappointment and frustration. As a result, couples must accept the reality of married life and develop realistic expectations that are beneficial to both partners.
In Conclusion
In conclusion, marriage is not without its challenges, and the early years of marriage are often the most difficult. As a couple, during this time, you will need to adjust to your new roles, navigate through power struggles, communicate effectively with one another, and manage your expectations.
Moreover, it is essential to seek external guidance, for example, from a relationship expert or marriage counselor if you feel that you can’t navigate through this period of your married life alone. With time, patience, and mutual understanding, couples can sail through these challenges and build a strong and lasting marriage.
FAQ
Why is 7th year of marriage the hardest?
The 7-Year Itch is a well-known phenomenon that suggests that marriages start to decline or end in divorce around the seven-year mark. The idea behind it is that couples tend to get bored or restless with each other after a certain period, and as a result, they may seek new sources of excitement or novelty.
There are many factors that can contribute to the 7-Year Itch. One of the primary reasons is a lack of communication between spouses. Over time, couples may start to take each other for granted and assume that their spouse should know what they are thinking or feeling. This can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations that can build up over time.
Another common issue that can contribute to the 7-Year Itch is a lack of intimacy or closeness between partners. This can occur for many reasons, including busy schedules, stress, or other life factors that get in the way of a strong emotional connection.
Financial stress is another factor that can put a strain on a marriage, particularly around the seven-year mark. Couples may have accumulated debt or may have started to feel the financial pressure of raising children or paying for a mortgage. These pressures can lead to arguments and tension within the relationship.
Finally, the 7-Year Itch can also stem from a general feeling of unhappiness or restlessness with one’s life. Couples may start to reassess their values and priorities, and may find that they are no longer aligned with their spouse’s. This can lead to a desire to explore new hobbies, interests, or career paths, which can put a strain on the marriage.
The 7-Year Itch is a complex phenomenon that can stem from a variety of different factors. While it is not a guaranteed outcome for all marriages, it is important for couples to be aware of the potential challenges that may arise around this time and take proactive steps to strengthen their relationship and maintain a strong emotional connection.
What year of marriage is divorce most common?
Divorce is a complex and sensitive issue that affects many people worldwide, and one of the most common questions asked is what year of marriage is divorce most common. While pinpointing a precise year of marriage when divorce is most common may be a challenging task, many researchers and studies have attempted to answer this question. Although the data may vary from country to country, there are noticeable trends in divorce rates that can be seen.
According to research, there are typically two periods during a marriage when divorce rates are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Many experts refer to these periods as vulnerable times for marriages, and couples in these periods must be aware of the potential issues that can arise. During the first few years of marriage, couples may find it challenging to adapt to living together and getting to know each other adequately. As a result, issues such as financial stress, communication problems, and infidelity may arise, leading to a divorce.
During the latter years of marriage, specifically years 5 -8, couples might face issues such as having children, infidelity or losing the spark that they had at the start of the marriage. Studies suggest that couples within these years have been married long enough to realize that their marital problems might not disappear on their own, and if communication, problem-solving and compromises are not met, divorce could become an option.
Further research has shown that within these high-risk periods, two years in particular stand out as the most common years for divorce – years 7 and 8. Some experts suggest that the seventh year of marriage often brings a significant change in the dynamics of a relationship. These changes could include the birth of a child, or for some couples, the feeling that they no longer share the same goals in life. For year eight, the reasoning might be similar, but as couples lay down the foundation to reach the decade milestone, they take stock of the current status of the relationship and decide it may not be working.
While data may differ from country to country, studies have shown that two periods during a marriage are most vulnerable to divorce; years 1 – 2 and 5 – 8. It is essential to note that while certain periods may be more vulnerable to divorce, the decision to divorce is personal, and couples are encouraged to seek support and professional help before considering divorce. It is always best to tackle problems head-on and to work together to strengthen the commitment of marriage.
What are the challenging phases in marriage?
Marriage is a union between two individuals who have committed to share their lives with each other. It is a complex relationship that requires a lot of effort and sacrifice from both partners. While marriages can be fulfilling, loving, and supportive, they can also be challenging and difficult at times.
Most marriages go through at least three distinct stages, and each stage presents its set of challenges. The first stage is the romantic love stage. This is the stage where couples are typically infatuated with each other, and everything seems perfect. They are head over heels in love, and there is a great deal of excitement and passion in the relationship.
However, the second stage is disillusionment and distraction. This is where the couple starts to see each other’s flaws and imperfections. At this phase, the honeymoon phase has worn off, and they may begin to feel frustrated with their differences. Communication issues may start to arise, and they may find that they are no longer in sync. The reality of their lives may start to sink in, and they may begin to feel that they are not as compatible as they had once thought.
The third and final stage includes three possible outcomes: dissolution, adjustment with resignation, or adjustment with contentment. If the challenges in the previous stage are not resolved, the couple may decide to end the marriage. Otherwise, they may adjust to each other’s differences and learn to live with them, although this may be accompanied by feelings of resignation and lack of fulfillment. Alternatively, the couple could make changes to their relationship, adjust their expectations and priorities, and work to find contentment and satisfaction in their marriage.
In addition to the difficulty of navigating these stages, many external factors can put pressure on a marriage and make it more challenging. These may include financial difficulties, health problems, career changes, raising children, and infidelity. Couples may find it such challenges more difficult to manage during the stages when they are already experiencing problems in their relationship. Communication and mutual support are key during these times, but it takes both partners to be willing to work together to maintain a strong marriage.
Marriage can be a source of joy and fulfillment, but it can also be challenging. Understanding the different stages of a marriage and the challenges that can arise at each stage can prepare couples for what’s to come and help them navigate the ups and downs of their relationship. By working together and seeking support as needed, couples can weather the challenging phases and come out stronger on the other side.