It’s a big word, but what is the point of marriage – really? Honestly, it seems like one of the most taxing, painful and (potentially) an emotionally destructive act a person can do, and we have all seen relationships around us fail due to the challenges of making marriage work for various reasons from growing into appreciating different values to fidelity issues. With that mindset, it’s hard to understand why marriage is still being practiced today and how it’s even being accomplished in a healthy and fulfilling way.
What if we’re not seeing marriage correctly…and that’s why it seems so overwhelming? Don’t worry, we’re going to show you the right way to understand marriage.
Seeing Marriage Differently
If you were to look at marriage in a different view, you would know that marriage is about:
- Giving everything you possibly can give to someone else, and
- The most significant opportunity to maximize your potential as a human being.
Now, you may be wondering how this works – no worries, we’re here to guide you through this new marriage mentality.
To view marriage differently, you need to remove all your previous views and judgment on it right now. What happened before in an earlier marriage isn’t relevant, nor what happened in your sibling’s wedding. The only thing you need to focus on is you and your potential marriage.
When we look away from all the apparent theoretical options, we discover that the act of devoting and committing yourself to someone else forces us to overcome what we thought was never possible. That’s powerful, but let’s reflect on that for a moment.
Consider a challenging time in your life that you’ve encountered while being with someone:
- Did it make things easier to know someone was there for you, no matter what happened?
- Did you have someone to talk things over with, so you could make informed decisions?
- Did that someone assure you that things would be okay, even though the future is unpredictable?
We’re going to take a guess that you answered yes to one or more of those questions. It’s interesting, but there is something about having someone there for you, forever and always, no matter how bad things get offers us comfort and makes us want to reciprocate that compassion, trust, and understanding.
Our inner-self wants to be a giver, have incredible patience and desires unity. This is the very purpose of marriage, it allows that sense of unity to be fulfilled on the highest level. It’s no wonder why marriage is still considered one of the most beloved traditions. In all cultures, this form of unity is celebrated and cherished because it’s bringing so much more than two people together, it’s uniting two people most perfectly.
Moving Forward with a New Definition of Marriage
Yes, “marriage” is a loaded word, but it’s still beautiful and symbolic. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of negativity when it comes to marriage because we all know so many people who have had poor experiences in their own marriages.
It doesn’t need to darken your own future vision of having a united and robust marriage with the person you love most and want to go above and beyond for the rest of your life. Understand that the real purpose of marriage is to unite two people together. If you offer your patience and are willing to give yourself and time to your significant other, you will have unlocked a deep understanding of marriage, and that will start your journey together in a promising direction when you two are ready to take this step in your relationship.
More about Tod and Peter Tod Jacobs is Director of the David Robinson Institute for Jewish Heritage in Jerusalem, which he co-founded in 2005. Prior to his current role teaching and counseling his students and alumni, he enjoyed a distinguished career on Wall Street as one of the leading authorities on the telecommunications industry globally. As a managing director at JP Morgan and before that a partner at Sanford C. Bernstein and Company, Tod acted as a frequent commentator on network television and in leading newspapers and magazines and testified several times before the U.S. Congress as an expert on telecom and media issues. His credits in print and broadcast journalism, where he worked prior to Wall Street, include nominations for both the Pulitzer Prize for investigative journalism and the Emmy Award. Tod lives in Jerusalem with his family. Peter Lynn has served as Dean of Students at the David Robinson Institute for Jewish Heritage since its inception. An MA in Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) from the University of Pennsylvania, Peter lectures at Touro College in Jerusalem. He is also Founder and Director of the Greatness Within Seminars, where he helps empower individuals and organizations through the application of Positive Psychology. An accomplished athlete and Ironman finisher, Peter was captain of the US World Duathlon Team. Peter lives in Jerusalem with his family.