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Is it congratulations or best wishes for a wedding?

A wedding is a special and joyous occasion that is celebrated with family, friends, and loved ones. As an attendee or well-wisher, it can be confusing to know whether to say “congratulations” or “best wishes” to the happy couple. Traditionally, there has been a distinction between the two phrases based on the gender of the spouse. In this blog post, we will explore the history behind these phrases and whether they are still relevant and appropriate in today’s society.

The History Behind “Congratulations” and “Best Wishes”

The custom of congratulating a groom and wishing the bride best wishes dates back to the Victorian era, when it was considered impolite to express publicly that a woman had been ‘caught’ by a man. Therefore, congratulating a groom was acceptable because it implied that he had successfully pursued and won the heart of his beloved. On the other hand, wishing the bride best wishes was considered more polite, as it was a way of expressing hope and joy for her new life without making any assumptions about her intentions or feelings.

Over time, this tradition has evolved into a social convention that is rarely questioned. The phrase “Congratulations” has become synonymous with any happy occasion, including weddings, graduations, and job promotions. It is a way of expressing admiration and respect for the accomplishments of the person being congratulated.

Similarly, “Best Wishes” has evolved into a more generic phrase that is often used in situations where the gender of the recipient is either unknown or irrelevant. It is a way of expressing good intentions and positive feelings towards the recipient, without making any assumptions or implications about their gender or role in the situation.

Modern Perspectives on “Congratulations” and “Best Wishes”

While the traditions behind “Congratulations” and “Best Wishes” are still followed by many people today, there is a growing movement towards gender-neutrality in language and speech. This movement seeks to eliminate gender-based assumptions and stereotypes, and to promote equality and inclusivity for all people, regardless of their gender identity or expression.

For this reason, some people argue that the tradition of congratulating grooms and wishing brides best wishes is outdated and unnecessary. They argue that it perpetuates gender stereotypes and reinforces the idea that men are the ones who initiate and control romantic relationships, while women are passive objects of desire.

Others, however, maintain that these phrases are harmless and that they reflect a harmless convention that has been passed down through generations of happy couples. They argue that the phrases are symbols of joy and happiness that should be celebrated, rather than scrutinized.


So is it “congratulations” or “best wishes” for a wedding? The truth is that there is no right or wrong answer. The choice of phrase depends on your personal preference, your relationship with the couple, and your understanding of the traditions involved. Whether you choose to say “Congratulations”, “Best Wishes”, or something else entirely, what matters most is that you express your love, support, and happiness for the couple on their special day.

Ultimately, the most important thing is that the couple is happy and that they feel loved and supported by their family and friends. So go ahead and say whatever feels right for you – whether it’s “Congratulations”, “Best Wishes”, or something totally unique and personal – and know that you are helping to make their wedding day even more special.


What can I say instead of congratulations?

When it comes to congratulating someone, it’s always nice to have a variety of different phrases at your disposal to express your praise or admiration. While “congratulations” is a common way to show your happiness for someone, you may want to switch things up with other words or phrases depending on the context of the situation. Here are some alternative phrases you can use instead of “congratulations”:

1. Compliments: This is a great option if you want to make the person feel special and really emphasize their accomplishments. You can say something like “You did an amazing job!” or “You should be proud of yourself!”

2. Felicitations: This is a more formal way to congratulate someone, but it still conveys a warm feeling of congratulations. It’s especially useful for congratulating someone on an important achievement, such as finishing a degree or getting a promotion.

3. Greetings: This is a versatile phrase that can be used in a variety of situations to express congratulations or good wishes. It’s less formal than “felicitations” but more formal than “good job” or “well done”. Example: “Warm greetings and congratulations on your achievement.”

4. Hail: This phrase is a bit more uncommon, but it can be a creative way to show your appreciation for someone’s hard work. It’s often used in a more religious or historical context, such as “All hail the champion!”

5. Best wishes: This is an all-purpose phrase that is appropriate for a wide variety of situations, from graduations to weddings to new jobs. It’s a simple way to express your support and admiration for someone’s accomplishments.

6. Give a ‘hear-hear’: This phrase is a way to celebrate an achievement in a group setting. It’s typically used in a more formal setting and requires everyone in the group to raise a glass or cheer to congratulate the person.

7. Good going: This phrase is more casual and is typically used when you want to congratulate someone on a simple achievement or completion of a task. It’s a lighthearted way to show your support and enthusiasm.

There are many different ways to offer congratulations beyond just the word “congratulations”. Whether you’re looking to be formal or informal, creative or straightforward, these alternative phrases can help you say exactly what you want to say when congratulating someone on their accomplishments.

How much money do you give at a wedding?

When attending a wedding as a guest, it’s customary to give a gift as a show of support and love for the newlyweds. But how much money should you give? The amount of money to give at a wedding varies depending on various factors such as the relationship between you and the couple, the location of the wedding, and your personal budget.

If you are attending a wedding of a coworker or a distant relative, it’s generally suggested to spend between $50 to $75 on a gift. You may not be as close to these people as you are to your friends or family, so a smaller gift is acceptable.

If you’re attending the wedding of a friend or relative, the expected gift amount increases. You should expect to spend between $75 to $100 for these types of events. Of course, if you have a closer relationship with the couple, feel free to spend more based on your budget. It’s important to remember that the thought and effort put into the gift is always appreciated.

For close friends, family, or if you are in the wedding party, you should plan to spend $100 to $150 or more. If you’re in the wedding party, you may also consider the additional costs that come with being in the wedding, such as the cost of a dress or suit, travel expenses, and extra time commitments.

Of course, these suggested amounts are not set in stone, and it’s always important to keep your personal budget in mind. You may also consider giving a thoughtful and meaningful gift that is not necessarily monetary. For example, you could offer to help with their honeymoon planning or create a handmade gift.

The amount of money to give at a wedding ultimately depends on your relationship with the couple, your personal budget, and the location of the wedding. Whether you choose to give a monetary gift or a thoughtful gesture, remember that your support and love for the newlyweds is what truly matters.

What do you write on a wedding card envelope?

Weddings are beautiful occasions that call for heartfelt congratulations and warm wishes. As you prepare to attend a wedding, you may be wondering what to write on the envelope of the wedding card. While it may seem like a small detail, the message on the envelope is just as important as the message inside the card.

As a general rule of thumb, the outer envelope of a wedding card tends to be more formal, featuring your guest’s full name with title and their full address. This is particularly important if you are sending the card by mail, as it ensures that the card reaches the correct recipient. For instance, if you are sending a wedding card to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, the outer envelope should read “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” followed by their full address.

Alternatively, if you are addressing a wedding invitation to a single guest, you should use their full name followed by their address. For instance, if you are inviting a friend named Emma Jones, you could write “Ms. Emma Jones” followed by her address.

The inner envelope, on the other hand, is more informal and can show just a first name, their last name and title, or initials. This is because the inner envelope is usually sent to the household, rather than to an individual guest. For instance, if you are addressing an inner envelope to John Smith and his wife, the envelope should read “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” or “John and Mary Smith” depending on their preference. If you are inviting a family with children, you could include their names on the inner envelope as well.

When addressing a wedding card envelope, it’s also important to consider your relationship with the couple. If you are close friends or relatives, you may want to include a personal message or a special nickname on the envelope to make the card more intimate. For instance, if you are addressing a wedding card to your college roommate, you could write “To my bestie, Sarah” followed by her address.

Writing on a wedding envelope may seem like a small detail, but it’s an important way to show your respect and love for the happy couple. By following these guidelines, you’ll be able to create a beautiful and personalized envelope message that the couple will cherish for years to come.