How to Perfect Your Wedding Speech
By Frankie Cena
A wedding toast will be one of the most memorable moments of your life. It doesn’t matter if that toast is about a guy marrying a guy or a girl marrying a girl or even a princess marrying a robot! What does matter is that this speech is about bonds, love, and connection. So here are some important tips when delivering that special toast at a same sex wedding or any wedding for that matter.
1. If there was one thing I learned from coming out it was that nothing really changes! People see you the same, they treat you the same, and that’s exactly what you want! So therefore, don’t go into this speech thinking that anything needs to be different because your best guy friend is getting married to a dude, the rules don’t suddenly change.
2. You were chosen for a reason, it might be because you are a natural born speaker, a comedian, because you have a special relationship, or because you were the only one willing to do it. But no matter what, YOU were chosen and YOU were chosen for a reason. Ask yourself why you were chosen, ask the person who asked you why they chose you, because this is going to give you some vital information when starting to brainstorm the speech that you’re going to give.
3. Whether your bride or groom is gay or straight they might have some things that they don’t want you to say. Maybe Grandma doesn’t want to hear about the night you all went to a gay club or that your best friend was a player before she found the one. Whatever it may be, this is not a time you want to make your loved one feel bad or awkward or uncomfortable, so again check in and see if there is anything off limits.
4. Don’t make a speech that only consists of inside jokes. The most important people you should be thinking about when writing this speech are the couple, but they are not the ONLY people that you should be thinking about. There are other people listening and they want to feel a part of this speech as well, they want to cry, they want to laugh, they want to feel the love. A few jokes or stories that only you and the couple can relate to are totally fine, but make sure some of the speech is universal or applicable to others in the room.
5. If you aren’t gay and you’re the one giving the speech, go back to point #1, nothing changes! There is no additional pressure and nothing you need to do differently. Delivering a speech is daunting enough, so don’t waste your time with extra stressors. Just focus on love, because love is universal regardless of sexual orientation or class or race or whatever.
6. Finally, make sure you evoke an emotion… The best wedding speeches of all time have made the audience laugh or cry or more likely made them do both! First and
foremost play to your strengths, if you’re not funny, don’t start cracking jokes now and if The Notebook didn’t make you cry, then maybe writing a tearjerker of a speech won’t be your best plan of action. Think about your best memories with your loved one. Sit down in a stress-free environment and write down the most precious moments that come to mind. Those memories will be the skeleton of your presentation. Once you’ve identified them, the rest of your speech will flow.
Frankie Cena is a highly coveted host, television presenter, speaker, and one of Canada’s fastest rising and sought-after personality in the entertainment industry today. With his background, experience and passion for public speaking, Frankie founded Fostering Debate Talent (FDT) Academy, one of Vancouver’s first and largest educational academies. FDT has coached some of Canada’s top public speakers and debaters who have gone on to represent Canada on the world stage and are now studying in institutions such as Harvard, Yale, Stanford and Cambridge. FDT currently coaches 150 students in Vancouver including several students from Frankie’s hometown that are on full ride scholarships.