Wedding planning can be a stressful experience, particularly when it comes to creating a guest list. Deciding who to invite can be a difficult task, as couples may have to make some tough decisions about who to invite and, perhaps more importantly, who not to invite. Once the guest list has been finalised, some guests may then request to bring a plus one, causing further stress and complications. Although it can be difficult, learning how to politely decline plus ones can help avoid any unnecessary discomfort and ensure the wedding is kept within budget.
Why do guests request plus ones?
There are a few reasons why guests may request a plus one:
- They may feel uncomfortable attending a wedding alone and want someone to accompany them.
- They may not know many other guests at the wedding and want to bring someone to socialise with.
- They may be in a new relationship and want to introduce their partner to their friends.
While these reasons are understandable, unfortunately, accommodating each guest’s plus one request is not always financially or logistically feasible.
Who should receive a plus one?
Determining who should receive a plus one can be a tricky task. Some couples may decide to extend the offer of a plus one to all guests, while others may limit plus ones to married or engaged couples. Ultimately, the decision comes down to the couple’s budget and preferences.
If a couple does decide to offer plus ones, it’s essential to be clear about who qualifies for one. For example, if the invitation is addressed solely to the guest, it’s unlikely they are also given a plus one. However, if the invitation reads “and guest,” it’s explicitly stating that the guest may bring a plus one.
How to politely decline plus ones
If you have decided not to offer plus ones or have to limit their numbers, there are various polite ways to decline requests.
1. Be upfront and honest.
Being honest about your decision is the best approach. Simply explain that you cannot accommodate a plus one for every guest, and you hope they will still be able to attend without one. Offering a friendly and polite tone and expressing your enthusiasm to welcome them to your wedding can help soften the blow.
2. Explain your reasoning.
If you feel comfortable doing so, you could explain why you decided not to offer plus ones. You could mention that you had to keep the wedding small, and extending plus ones was not possible. Most guests will understand and respect your decision.
3. Provide alternatives.
If you know the guest well, you could suggest other attendees they may know or introduce them to who they can socialize with at the wedding. You could also provide accommodation or transportation assistance, particularly if it’s a destination wedding, to make them as comfortable as possible.
4. Stick to your guns.
It can be tempting to change your mind when a guest is insistent about bringing a date. However, it’s essential to remain firm and reiterate that you cannot accommodate a plus one due to budget or logistical constraints.
What to do if a guest brings an uninvited plus one
It’s inevitable that some guests may still bring an uninvited plus one, despite your best efforts to communicate your decision. If this does happen, it’s essential to handle the situation as graciously as possible.
First, it’s best to avoid causing a scene and instead speak to the guest privately. Explain that their plus one was not included in the invitation and politely request that they leave or offer a compromise, such as offering to seat them separately or trying to provide a meal at an additional cost.
It’s also important to discuss this with your wedding planner or coordinator, who can assist in navigating the situation in the best possible way.
Conclusion
Dealing with plus ones may seem intimidating, but so long as you communicate your decision clearly, honestly and politely, it can be a straightforward process. Remember, at the end of the day, it’s your wedding, and you have the final say on who can attend. By politely declining plus ones, you can help ensure that you create the intimate, personal day you have been hoping for.
FAQ
How do you say no to +1 wedding?
Attending a wedding is a special occasion that is often shared with close friends and family members. Sometimes, during these events, a guest may feel entitled to bring a plus one, which can create problems for the couple getting married, especially if they have a limited budget and space. In situations like this, it’s essential to know how to politely decline a plus one invitation.
Firstly, it’s essential to understand that declining a plus one invitation is not a sign of disrespect towards the guest. You can explain that due to budget restrictions and space limitations, you need to limit the number of guests attending the wedding. Politely informing the guest of this fact is the most important step in saying no to a plus one invitation.
It’s always wise to explain this fact in a tactful manner. You can use a soft approach that starts by expressing your appreciation for the kindness shown by the guest to accept the invitation. Then you can express your regret about not being able to accommodate a plus one due to budget constraints or space limitations. You can use a statement such as “Unfortunately, due to budget and space limitations, we simply can’t afford to allow all our guests to bring their plus one.”
It’s also good to highlight the exceptions to this rule. For example, you can mention that only specifically named individuals mentioned in the invitation are allowed to bring a plus one. This way, you make it clear to your guests that this is not a blanket ban on plus ones.
Declining a plus one invitation should not be a difficult experience. It’s essential to be honest, polite, and tactful when communicating this information to your guest. By doing so, you can establish good communication with your guests and help prevent awkward situations that may affect your special day.
How do you say you can’t bring a plus one on wedding website?
When it comes to planning a wedding, one of the many etiquette issues couples face is whether or not to allow guests to bring a plus one. While having a significant other by their side can be important for some guests, it’s understandable that not everyone can be accommodated due to budget constraints or limited venue capacity. So, if you’re a bride or groom who’s decided that you can’t afford to invite everyone’s plus ones, you need to communicate this clearly on your wedding website.
One way to do this is to put a note on your wedding website apologizing to your guests for any inconvenience and explaining the reason(s) why you can’t accommodate plus ones. You can say something like “We’re so excited to celebrate this day with our nearest and dearest and are hoping to keep the guest list limited. Thank you for not bringing a guest” should make it clear. Also, make sure that this note is prominently displayed on the front page of your wedding website so that it’s one of the first things your guests see.
Additionally, it’s important to make it clear on the RSVP page or card that guests are not allowed to bring a plus one. This can be done in a polite and respectful manner, such as “We are looking forward to celebrating this special occasion with you and have reserved one seat in your honor.” By stating this explicitly, you’ll avoid any confusion and ensure that your guests know exactly how many people are in your party.
It’S important to remember that it’s your special day, and while you want to accommodate as many guests as possible, you also have the right to make decisions that are best for you and your partner. By communicating this information clearly and respectfully on your wedding website, your guests will not only understand your reasoning but also appreciate your honesty.
Is it rude to not allow plus ones?
When it comes to wedding guest lists, deciding on who to invite and who to exclude can be a quite complicated process. One of the most controversial and talked about topics in this regard is whether it is considered rude to not allow plus ones for guests.
It’s important to note that there is no one answer that fits all in this situation. It ultimately comes down to personal preference and the specific circumstances surrounding your wedding. However, in general, not allowing a plus one can be seen as an etiquette faux pas.
To put yourself in your guests’ shoes, try to think about their perspective. If someone has been dating their partner for years or is married, they may feel hurt or frustrated if they are not allowed to bring their loved one with them to such an important event. Weddings are celebrations of love and unity, so it’s understandable that guests may feel left out if they aren’t able to share it with their significant other.
That being said, it’s understandable that weddings can be expensive and that every couple has a budget to work within. It’s completely reasonable to set guest list limits and decide on no plus-ones. However, if you do make this choice, be prepared to explain it upfront to the guests who will be affected. This can be done through invitations or by reaching out to specific guests privately.
It is also important to note that there are some exceptions to the plus-one rule. For example, it is common courtesy to extend a plus-one invitation to any members of your wedding party, such as bridesmaids or groomsmen. They will want to celebrate your special day with their partners and it’s only reasonable to accommodate them.
Deciding whether or not to allow plus-ones at your wedding can be a sensitive and personal decision. While it may be tempting to cut corners and save money, keep in mind that it is often better to err on the side of caution and extend the invitation to a partner if possible. You can always get creative with ways to keep costs down, but it’s important to keep your guests’ feelings and needs at the forefront of your decision-making process.